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Joined: 08:19am - Jun 17,07
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Location: Gurnee

Post Posted: 07:45am - Dec 6,13 
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I offer my condolences to Bigsaw (http://chitownangler.com/1fish/viewtopi ... 31&t=72764 ) and urge all of you to contribute to his "BBSAP" fund.

I thought maybe I could also share some health related stress relief when facing printer problems.

Guess it started many years ago. I think when that diabolical LEX LUTHOR fella acquired a certain brand of printers.

I needed a printer to go with my new compact PC. Man, I went top dollar- I spent $79 . Oh, I don’t think or print big like Bigsaw- thank God .. .. his problems are BIGGER.

I installed the printer and it worked well for a couple months then, oh, oh, what’s that I hear? The printer? I wasn’t using it. I was resting for the night, just doing some reading. Why the noise? The intermittent signals from LEX to LEX Junior (as I named the printer) keep sporadically communicating. This was not totally correct nomenclature, because it was really LEX the II. Each generation of LEX’s should be smarter than the older generation, right?

Oops…..what…. I’m out of black ink? How can that be? Thirty-two pages in a month and I’m out of ink? Wow… maybe it’s dried up as I didn’t use it much. So I bought a new cartridge- $15.95 for a LEX cartridge—hmmm….. I rationalize, irrationally, “not that bad, considering the original price of the printer”.. well maybe I did have a couple beers before I bought it.

I put that cartridge in… what?? The color cartridge is out of ink? Heck, I did’t use color printing- only a couple of times- I’m just not a colorful guy! Well…. break down Bruce, buy a color cartridge… it’s been a long time and maybe it’s good to add some color to your life. What, the color cartridge is now $23.95? Whoa!! What to do? Do I need the color cartridge??

Ah, look at this- I can buy a whole kit of ink—colored and black ink in bulk. It even comes with a syringe. Heck ya! I can refill the dam cartridges myself for a lot less money. No problem—‘cept I had an eerie feeling LEX was looking in on me… there’s got to be a hidden camera in that damn thing. So I filled the cartridge, carefully- disposable gloves, gauze pads, etc. just in case. It was easy, just like “pithing” a frog.. heck, I did that in Junior High…Just peel back the label on the top of the cartridge and stick the syringe into that little brain hole....whoops.. oh, damn!! Naturally the ink likes to seek out light colored objects—like miscellaneous documents lying near the printer, oops again, sheeett, it ran down the desk and on the beige carpet. Sheettt- don’t tell the wife- I just pulled the desk over the carpet a little so she wouldn’t see it.

Oh, oh… what’s that noise.. quick “ernt, ernt, ernt”….Oh, it’s the printer.. why is it doing that? Is it LEX laughing? Meanwhile the printer was finally fixed with the filled cartridge--- LEX Jr was able to do his job.

Not long after, with little use… what’s that? I got this popup from LEX….”the printer is out of ink”. You’re out of ink again?? Damn, there must be a leak… hmmn…maybe I should give up on the syringe filling… new desk and now a new carpet…. $1695.95… oh, well, stimulate the economy, and we did need a new carpet, right?

Hey, lookie here. They have replacement cartridges of generic brand. All right … only $19.99, four dollars less than the LEX brand. So I put that in.

Then it happened during the evening… I hear this “ernt…ernt…ernt…”. Suddenly I again get this popup from LEX… [/b]“this is not a LEX cartridge.. “ernt…ernt…[/b]” Oh, oh… why is it printing out a test pattern??? Damn, nothing but lines printed row after row on the paper. It’s using all the ink…what the hell!! Next time, same thing, sheeett… I need to print these documents.. why now… run to the store, quick! I need a cartridge… sheeett.. I better buy the LEX cartridge….that damn cartridge…. What? Now it’s $39.95 for a damn cartridge?

Bought it- had to!!! #^$%@^$%....saved the day.. but “ernt…ernt… “ that nightly noise again…now what is LEX telling his programmable progeny? What… now there is no hole under the tape on the cartridge if I want to refill ink with a syringe?? Ha, I can drill a small hole and do it. After a few months… “ernt… ernt…” Now what? Test pattern…”GRNT…GRNT…GRNT..” … “CLUNK”…”CLUNK….” DAMN… the gears are shot! Stripped. Ah Hell!!

Hey, look at this… I can get a different brand printer for only $69.99. Heck of a deal!! Now read the fine print… “ink cartridge supplied is not filled to full capacity”… oh, geez, great. They’ll do anything to cut the price. I get it home and go to plug it in… What’s this? “No plug in cord furnished.. must purchase separately”. Hmmn, stimulating the economy again…don’t feel bad Bruce, it’s like buying a can of beans..used to be 16 oz, for a dollar, then the cans started getting smaller, 12 oz, then 10 oz, now what? 6 oz for a dollar and change.... But think about it… don’t you just feel better since the price really didn’t go up much? Ya right!! The price of the printers didn’t go up over the years, right?

It all turned out well. I relieved my frustrations… good time of the year to get rid of printers. I gave the new printer to my wife to hook up to her portable. I used the little drill bit I had bought to drill a small starter hole on right on the top of LEX Jr..…. Then used my ice fishing auger to drill right thru the top… and you thought there was no good use for Chinese blades on your auger….

It gave me great pleasure to do a major “Pithing” job on LEX Jr! Reminded me (if you are old enuff) of the old black and white TV’s. The screens would continuously scroll without stopping. A good slap on the side usually worked… ‘course these days, a fellow like LEX isn’t allowed to slap their kids….”ernt…ernt…zap..zap..zap….” it’s different now.. slight high voltage jolts. Anyhow, the black and white TV’s, yep, there was nothing like taking them outside to dispose of them. You could take them outside and fix them with your shotgun. Hmm….yep! they had this big tube…resounding KAPOW!!

Damn did I hear my smart TV make a sound? Stress relief. Awesome! (Just in case, I have an old tube Color TV stashed in the basement.)

I finally resolved my printer problem. No more stress! It was relieved by the above actions and also eating a big can of cheap Beans- generic brand. Hopes this information helps some of you with printer problems.

Since I don’t a printer very much, I just borrow the wife’s. She’s has her printer in the other room…. I no longer hear the “ernt…ernt…ernt…” or “ernt…ernt… zap… zap”. ... just a frequent “@#$@%#@#!!…..@$^@%@#!$%”!! from the other room.

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Joined: 10:02pm - Dec 23,06
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Location: Down South of here!

Post Posted: 07:56am - Dec 6,13 
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Bruce Bruce Bruce. :oops:

That was freakin' hilarious. :bigyuck

Yep those DIY ink kits are just a big mess. My condolences to the wife. :respect

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Joined: 06:16pm - Mar 6,05
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Location: Wadsworth, Illinois

Post Posted: 03:15pm - Dec 6,13 
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LMAO..great tale Bubba!! is there anyway to get stress relief from an offset printer?

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Proud son of a Civilian Conservation Corps. member and following in his footsteps!

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Joined: 08:19am - Jun 17,07
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Location: Gurnee

Post Posted: 03:49pm - Dec 6,13 
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Geo7455 wrote:
LMAO..great tale Bubba!! is there anyway to get stress relief from an offset printer?


I know you are a printer by trade Geo.....I always felt you were "offset"..... now you admit it... Do you want to find a way to relieve people's stress?? I dunno....that's not what Martea says.... :rotflmao :rotflmao

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Post Posted: 03:50pm - Dec 6,13 
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lol bubba

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Keep your stick on the ice!!!-----Red Green

Proud son of a Civilian Conservation Corps. member and following in his footsteps!

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